～に〜ない
Cannot even...if wants, Would like to...but cannot, Wants to...but cannot
Structure
Explanation
に～ない is a pattern that uses a repeated verb to express that one 'is unable to do (A), even with the desire to', or that circumstances prevent one from doing (A). The case marking particle に is placed after a verb's dictionary form, which is then followed by the negative potential form of the same verb. This construction literally means something like 'when it comes to doing (A), it is not possible'.
- あまりにも悲しい知らせで、涙も出ず、泣くに泣けなかった。The news was so tragic, I was beyond tears and couldn't cry even if I wanted to.
- 親友が困っていたのでお金を貸してほしいと頼まれ、断るに断れなかった。My best friend was in a tough spot and asked to borrow money, so I just couldn't bring myself to refuse.
- ここまで頑張ってきたのだから、今さら辞めるに辞められない。I've worked so hard to get this far, so I can't just quit now.
It is worth noting that する does not have a standard potential form. Because of this, できない is used for the second half of the expression when dealing with する verbs.
- 試験が近いのに疲れていて、勉強するにできない。The exam is coming up soon, but I'm so exhausted that I can't bring myself to study.
Furthermore, ない can occasionally be substituted with different negative forms, like ず, to achieve the same meaning.
- 隣の部屋のパーティーがうるさくて、寝るに寝れず、朝になってしまった。The party in the next room was so noisy that I couldn't get any sleep, and before I knew it, it was morning.
Caution
In some cases, the initial dictionary form verb is replaced by its volitional form (う or よう), followed by にも. The second part of the structure, the negative potential verb, remains unchanged.
- 雪が深く積もっていて、前に進もうにも進めない。The snow is piled so high that I can't move forward, even if I try.
- 終電を逃してしまい、家に帰ろうにも帰れない。I missed the last train, so now I can't get home even if I want to.
While the overall meaning of these two patterns is the same, using the dictionary form tends to imply a psychological reason for being unable to do something, whereas the volitional form often points to a more physical or tangible obstacle.
Examples
家族を養うために、このつらい仕事もやめるにやめられない。
I have to support my family, so I can't quit this difficult job even if I want to.
もうお腹がいっぱいだけど、祖母が作ってくれた料理だから、残すに残せない。
I'm already full, but since my grandmother made this dish for me, I can't bring myself to leave any of it behind.
仕事は終わったが、社長がまだ残業しているので、帰るに帰れない雰囲気だ。
I've finished my work, but the company president is still working overtime, so there's an atmosphere where I can't go home even if I want to.
元カレとの思い出の品は、捨てるに捨てられず、ずっと箱の中にしまってある。
I can't bring myself to throw away the mementos from my ex-boyfriend, so I've just kept them stored away in a box.
暗い道で突然人が現れて、恐怖で動くに動けなくなった。
Someone suddenly appeared on the dark road, and I was so scared that I couldn't move even if I wanted to.
お客様がどんなに理不尽なことを言っても、店員としては怒るに怒れない。
No matter how unreasonable a customer is, as a store clerk, you can't get angry even if you want to.
プライドが高い彼は、困っていても人に頼むに頼めない性格だ。
He has a lot of pride, so his personality is such that even when he's in trouble, he can't ask people for help even if he wants to.
プロジェクトの締め切りが明日に迫っていて、休むに休めない状況だ。
The project deadline is looming tomorrow, so I'm in a situation where I can't rest even if I wanted to.
友達が深刻な顔をしていたが、デリケートな問題そうだったので聞くに聞けなかった。
My friend looked very serious, but it seemed like a sensitive issue, so I couldn't ask them about it even though I wanted to.
川で溺れている子がいたが、自分は泳げないので助けるに助けられなかった。
There was a child drowning in the river, but since I can't swim, I couldn't save them even though I wanted to.
ここまで頑張ってきたのだから、今さら諦めるに諦めきれない。
I've worked so hard to get this far, so at this point I just can't bring myself to give up.
欲しい服があったけど、クレジットカードを家に忘れてきてしまって、買うに買えなかった。
There were some clothes I wanted, but I'd forgotten my credit card at home, so I couldn't buy them even though I wanted to.